I'm tired of people talking about social change.

More specifically, I'm tired of people talking about social change like it's something that can happen overnight.

'Change' is a word that has been used over and over again in social, religious, and political platforms and campaigns. There are books written about it, billboards declaring that it has come, and rallies where the word is chanted in order to inspire the hearts of the masses. This word has been used as a buzz word for too long, almost to the point of people getting tired of hearing it.

If I'm completely honest, this word excites and frightens me.

It excites me because held in this word is the key to a door of endless possibility. Being given the chance to 'be change' is to be given permission to reject the way things are in order to aspire to the way things are supposed to be. It is an invitation to newness, and when we believe that it's possible and when we get fired up about it, it's easy to believe that nothing will stand in our way.

The word frightens me sometimes, too. Not because I don't believe it can happen, but because I'm afraid that the people that are excited to change the world will make changes that stand against my beliefs and values. I'm afraid that the world is much easier to hurt than it is to help. I'm afraid that negative change is awfully simple, and that I'll be swept into it.

Currently, I'm working for a nonprofit organization called Light Gives Heat in Colorado. We strive each day to change the way that individuals here in the United States see both themselves and the rest of the world. I moved here at the end of September with hopes of tackling ignorance and challenging apathy. What noble goals! All along, my boss had been telling me that it's messy and hard work and it doesn't always make sense, but I don't think I really believed him. I felt good about being a world changer. I felt awesome! But then one day I woke up 13 hours from home and I didn't feel so awesome. I felt like a kid that just left all of his friends and his family to work with people that he hardly knew. I was uneasy, alone, and I didn't feel like changing anything. Especially myself. As I lay in bed that morning with the space heater humming and my warm sheets pulled up to my ears, my heart was uneasy. I was being stretched. I was changing.

You see, change is not a feeling or an emotion. It is something that happens whether you like it or not, and rarely is it comfortable or convenient. Yet, even as terrible as it may feel, it is an absolute necessity in order for life to go on.

A lot of us are really serious about inviting people to change, grow, and think differently. We must understand that in doing so, we may be inviting people to hurt, stretch, and possibly even suffer. Nobody on this planet is living in under identical circumstances, so everyone experiences change and growth in unique ways. If I ask somebody to help a starving child, he or she might throw a few dollars in a bucket, say a quick prayer, and go about their day. But if I take someone into a slum and sit them down with starving children, chances are they'll be really uncomfortable, nervous, or even scared.

Working with messed up and broken people is never easy. I'm not easy to work with sometimes. I can be stubborn and arrogant. Yet, when I look back at the times in my life that I was growing and living life to the full, it was in those times that I was being thoroughly stretched, pitting my ignorance up against truth that could not be ignored.

I'm not willing to yell and scream at people to change. I'm not going to speak about it like it's a simple thing, I'm not going to chant it in crowds, and I'm not going to pretend that I don't screw up every day of my life. However, I am willing to work alongside others and invite them into the messy and often painful experience of changing and growing their hearts. Yes, people can be hurtful and difficult, but if I'm serious about this, ignorant and apathetic people are exactly the ones I'm fighting for.